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You're not my type.If you still don't understand what I'm talking about, you're in denial. Really think if a girl acted really nervous around you. You should love yourself more and watch how everything falls into place. are you sure about that? I think we could do a way better job of teaching boys who are basically good how to become strong, confident, independent and responsible men. A lot of them are just things I do naturally. Confident people realize if a relationship falls apart it’s because it wasn’t right, not because they did … Friends would tell me things like, "I know you've never been successful with women, but you just have to have confidence in yourself." I know my mom does. You are a great example of a guy who is wishy washy/indecisive. I'm talking about dating. A nice guy can still be nice and do well with women. because they always say the number one thing that attracts girls to guys is his confidence, for girls it is mainly her looks. I still know somewhere that I am a great guy, but it is hard when the only person who agrees or will show me any love is my ex. And they are right...dating is a strange sort of ritual. But there are subconscious forces at work here, namely behavioral conditioning. Aside from not actually being my boyfriend he's the perfect boyfriend, which is the irony of it all. I get intimidated when I see a good looking girl I want to talk to because I feel she would never have a slight interest in me. It'll be hard at first, but it'll get easier. Reasons: I've been on hundreds of dates (conservatively close to 700) and no matter what the circumstances or what I do they all reject me at some point. I know plenty of guys like this with a girlfriend. :P, Well, than you have a right, not to trust so easily. :D. My biggest confidence killer is the fact I have a driving phobia, I've tried for 6 years to get over it but have not been successful, driving is such a common thing that it's expected from people that you can do it, and if you can't then your some type of retarded loser. Do you believe in yourself? View related questions: I seem normal but I am unable to bond and connect with people because I have no energy left. Even if they are they are, they hide it well, and don't let it affect there strategy. Be yourself. But the positive thing is that he is working out to improve his self image, and he's taking steps to get to where he wants to be in life. Do you volunteer? Once puberty hit, I became tall, my muscles began to expand and show more, and I I just looked vey attractive in general! I am working on giving him positive feedback and encouraging him to move outside of his comfort zone, and he's determined to work on himself as well. I think that should be pretty obvious that, that is a major problem and shouldn't just be passed off. Only she, the girl and I knew. so your suggesting just treat them like crap? At least that means my life is easier since I got less competition :), ... misguided perceptinos and beliefs? I don't need a list of why. I would say to myself, "Stop being so sensitive, NEXT!". Why are you nervous? And you posted this 17 hours ago, which means 2 hours after I saw your comment I fixed it. Says on your update it's abouy dating! It just happens. So what are you trying to say? I never said I don't attract women. How do women get pregnant with 6-15 babies at one time? Instead all I hear is how my friends are cute. Why would they say you don't? Etc. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! I feel pathetic that at my age I would just be learning things that most people learned a long time ago. If you have confidence. I am actually quite handsome and carry my weight well (been told that by some friends). Never miss a thing with GirlsAskGuys notifications on your browser. But realize: dating a younger man is definitely different from dating a man your age or even older. All the years of rejection no matter how low standards were lowered, not to mention never finding anyone with a particular interest in getting to know me just the other way around. Let me ask this, did you have confidence when you had sex the first time? Before your parents got married, think about their life as a whole. reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 November 2011): A Don't have an account? Do you like you?Don't make excuses, I usually give second chances to those guys, and they're still nervous. ps. I don't and he had tons of girls. A little humility is in order here. You'll be surprised how the girls flock to you. i mean you act like its a pre-determained thing that they won't care for me. First you say "I agree that complaining won't help" and then you contradict yourself saying that "that doesn't, Thank You Asailum, you're amazing! I'm 22 with no experience. It's not my style. Its gotten to the point that the idea of the opposite sex wanting anything to do with me relationship wise is laughable, like i literally laugh its that silly. I simply meant I am clueless when it comes to women. My emotional needs are not met, then I feel like shit, people sense that, no bonding so my needs are not met.. Do you want to have confidence in yourself? I don't mean that "you" specifically are the cause of all confidence issues, but I am implying that you do not help. Guys, would you let your woman drive your car? But you ruled out looked for the root of the problem, so how will you ever change? you'll never know cause you're not the chaser. I was just using bad boys as an example. No, if you approach a random girl. Another thing to add to the confidence issue was that in high school I was severely overweight (325 pounds, to be exact) and even though I go to the gym and weight 185 pounds now (At 6'3", if that puts anything into perspective) the scars from kids bashing me for my weight still run deep. When you relax things get further, You are over thinking it way too much. Especially, because I have a very strong personality, but than I thought to myself, I need someone who wants me and has a stronger personality than me, but positive. Woman, it's hard to hit the jackpot the first time. I was obese for most of my childhood and bullied for it. Your brain learns things constantly whether or not you consciously realize it, and those learned things shape your attitudes and influence your behavior in ways you are not consciously aware of. And I had confidence. He doesn't invite himself in to my place because he doesn't want to seem pushy or needy (so he says). :). I think we need to have the counter balance o the bad boy to be the CHARMING guy (like a James Bond type) rather than these nice guys that people get all confused. It feels really awkward for me and I feel like I'd make myself look like an idiot. Girls, do you burp loudly around your friends? I have learned and experienced many things during my dating life, but I never thought I'd reach the point of ultimatums with a guy. You look at yourself, all the positive qualities. dating advice for men seeking a relationship with women Despite what most guys think, the signs of confidence that great women look for in a man have nothing to … low confidence towards women, I've been rejected many times, but like always I keep going and searching for "that one" but it all seems bulls**t to me at this point. the same ex that wasn't willing to commit. <3. No, I'm suggesting to be yourself, and not care if they don't like you. While no man should always be expected to plan five-star dates, at the same time, the romance shouldn't just completely fall off a cliff at once. After them beating into me that I was a worthless fat so-and-so, it's not something I can just snap my fingers and be rid of. This question has nothing to do with dating. reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (2 November 2011): Already have an account? female lol, yea talk to a doctor who an prescribe you something from keeping you from panic attacks, so you can drive. now you say this has nothing to do with girls yet I bet most these guys myself included would have a lot more confidence if we could actualy get a girl to like us lol. :) So you're saying that the love of your family isn't worth anything? Then I basically won't have any until I'm a college graduate. Coaching will put you on the fast track to transforming your dating life and creating the love life you have always dreamed of. There will be things you like (his energy) and things that drive you crazy (the fact that he has no clue who Max Headroom is). You don't understand because you're not a girl and never had a guy force himself on you.If a guy told me No You're not my type. In fact, having low or no self-esteem can seriously derail your love life in the following ways: 1. No, that fear blocking me from guys is a trust thing. Refer to the question you just asked that I am currently answering. Like you’d end up having to take care of him. Because you said, "I have pretty high self-esteem when it comes to anything besides women." If you’re interested in a guy, want to make eye contact with him from afar, and want him to approach Megan, your responses here are all nonsense. Many men break out all the stops early on in the dating process, but by the fifth of sixth date, the laziness starts to creep in. It sounded like you gave advice instead of telling me a problem. Are you reading the questions on GaG! hard when the only people that love you are your family. These selves need to come together to boost self-confidence. :D*Please no one comment on my comment, Quadrophonic84 knows what I mean by this. Most introverts easily … There’s no such thing as rejection: It’s hard not to take it personally, and we’ve all been there. Lol. Make people laugh? I've alway prided myself in being able to talk to everyone. This channel is dedicated to honest advice for breakups, reconciliation, attraction and dating. I can drive fine if there are no trucks, or other big vehicles (that's what seems to triggers it) but I can't risk getting license on those conditions because when I have a panic attack I have no control of my body. You let guys treat you like crap. There aren't very many opportunities for young men to build confidence these days. I use to say that, "guys just don't like me, etc." Men gain confidence through success. Sometimes it'll come out on the first 10 seconds, sometimes 10 days, but as soon as they get a taste of my real personality, they go running. I'm a good looking guy with a decent job and relatively stable life, but I have zero confidence in developing romantic relationships. Why do you need those particular ones? I still think I'd be confident if I had any flicker of attention from girls. I am not depressed, I feel pretty sad twice a year but who doesnt. One time I invited him over for the night he didn't even bring his toothbrush with him inside, but left it in the car, because he was so worried he'd seem pushy or "intruding". No there is one small typo, In the first update which I corrected in the second. I just don't know how. More often than not, the point at which they reject me is when I expose my personality in some way, either by accident or on purpose. But haven't been able to shake it, I've probably spent close to 10 thousand trying to get over this, but it just won't p*ss off lol. I understand your intentions but I don't think you know what are talking about. Bad boys become 'bad men' all on their own. etc. Yes my mom is. It's my fault for assuming they want to make a fool of me or something, so I appeared disinterested as a defense mechanism. It will happen. Do you think you're attractive? There’s a high probability he’s an introvert. He does say he trusts me though, so I don't know what he's so scared of? So be careful in the sense First you have to understand that some guys have reasons not to have confidence. You want something GO AND GET IT! Stop caring what other people think.If a guy is nervous for too long (especially to the point where he can't be himself), he ended it, not me. Scared I will reveal some "secret" about not really liking him after all? A … Are you rude? all these guys and girls you are talking bout sound like a bunch of losers to me. As their search for love heats up, suddenly there are multiple men who are interested in … After having been lied to by every woman I've ever let close, except my sister, there are few people out there I'd be willing to trust. If you love yourself, and don't care if a girl rejects you. I faced the truth that it was my fault. You say I act like it is easy. i used to like myself better when I was younger. What happened since you were younger? Half the girls I do go after end up only being interested in fwb, and I'm looking for a serious relationship. All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. However, when a man is shy and lacks social confidence, long hair can make him look like a bit of a loser or social outcast. Imagine you ask a guys out. Telling people not to care is encouraging them just to go use some poor girl and that isn't what I want.If I cared about her and she cared about me I would try and help her become more outgoing around me so we can make it work. We have the real self and ideal self. lol I just don't think I'm anything great. Do you approach them at all? I asked him if he wanted to keep a toothbrush at my place, and he looked at me concerned and asked if that wouldn't be a bother for me, if I'd really think that was ok? If your boyfriend is really shy, he may not say this to … if I thought I was attractive I would be asking girls out. After enough bad experiences it begins to break your psyche. well it gets boring, I want it from friends, and I don't have any real friends. that's so cruel! Because if you did, girls would be all over you because they are attracted to confidence. yes. I grew up in an abusive household and my self-worth is total garbage. Unfortunately most people dont. So I just keep it for myself and I just go under the radar and like I said id I flirt I just do it with no end. This about why do you (guys) have low confidence? I'm asking why guys have no confidence. Make the girls earn respect for you. Take a very good look. There’s nothing that will kill his attraction for you faster. No! I don't speak for all the passive people out there that don't chase/approach (mostly women) and all they do is wait for someone to chase/approach them (the easy part). I'm asking why guys have no confidence. You know why, they know the magic words, "NEXT!". Dating is all about believing you deserve the best and you won’t get very far without that belief. I have no confidence because at 26 I have never had a relationship. cause I used to be made fun of when I was younger and even now I hear girls say things like why is there nothing but ugly guys around when I'm sitting right near them and can hear them. I'm confinent to do anything. I pretty much stopped dating in college because of that. There are many factors of why lot of men don't have self-confidence and are scared of women. I never wanted to be that type of woman. Girls give me no attention. A domino effect begins and no girl will care or respect you. The I-get-increasingly-less-romantic-with-each-date guy. it really pisses me off. That's nothing more than shyness and lack of confidence.Now imagine you're the chaser. I just figure girls wouldn't want a guy like me because most the girls I see there boyfriends are really out going and I'm really shy. Besides, in a relationship if you want a guy who is funny, generous, rich, or smart... not having confidence does not mean the person do not process any of the such qualities. Conversely, if a guy isn’t confident and has no certainty, it could feel overwhelming to you. This questions with guys with no confidence, or don't like the way they look, or upset with themselves. It was a yes or no question. I think girls think that guys have no confidence in dating have no confidence in achieving anything else. She's had a boyfriend for 3 years. I know that relationships are based on how you make the other person feel and not achievements. A lot of it has its roots in peer development in childhood. Guys, do you find it gross when a girl burps around you? I agree with a lot of this.I think we do a really bad job as a society of teaching good boys to become good _men_. Also, if they come naturally even more a reason to be proud of yourself and start giving yourself more credit, and telling yourself how wonderful you are. I have a sense of self value, and you should too. A guy, looking at you during dating or relationship building, doesn’t want someone who can’t take care of … This is something I've never understood either. I can't believe it! You're not getting any younger. Yeah, but that also goes back to the girl thing. Remind yourself to stay calm. You need to go out there and do something that you're proud of doing. I've seenever it play out so many times that unconsciously I know what's going to happen before it does. That's a lie. To put your mind at ease, here are a few signs that you are in fact dating a great guy who you should never let go. You can barely talk to her, but at the same moment another girl walks over to you that can talk to you normally and be themselves. If it’s the first date, you “have to” make sure you get a second one. in 3 months) by dieting and lifting weights. Than someone showed me, that the problem was me. Any bad experiences? Everyone gets nervous when they jump out of their comfort zone and try something new. How do you work on loving yourself? It makes like you're pointing a finger. No! When it comes to actual serious dating, the most important thing is confidence. Intelligent. Just don't treat them like a princess from the beginning, but be courteous. I have confidence in myself, but not when it comes to the specifics of dating. Why do you have low confidence in yourself? When we express our best and it doesn’t work out, it can feel like a personal defeat — like you’re not good enough. Only you keep you from what you want. You care about people who don't care about you? Talk to the girl like you would anyone else. I have asked 3 girls out in my life. Even just a friend. I'm not a top tier guy to the average woman. Well the concept is easy. While I love people and desire to be with someone, it's very difficult when I feel I wouldn't be anything but a burden on them anyway. No one else. because it's you. The girls you're aiming for are girls who like to hear, "omg, every girl in here is a twig with hair." Indirect, passive men, who aren't open about their feelings, have no solid plan, no clear intentions, and make dating feel exhausting instead of fun. Self-confidence requires a positive self-image. No, you care too much what these girls think. why is it an extreme must-have? Why do you think you're not attractive? I'd do anything to hold onto her my whole life. Nah they haven't, hmmm wonder if they can, they suggested hypnotherapy but that sh*ts expensive and seems dodgy lol. Do you help anyone? Obviously I'm going to care. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Everything you've done and be proud of yourself. You don't want to have confidence. I'm not saying be an a**hole, I'm saying just take the key element "don't care what anyone thinks and they'll all care about you." Perhaps after being rejected by most of my peers for so long is what has driven me to succeed academically and in a career (I just graduated with a masters in biomedical engineering and have bachelors degrees in mechanical engineering and nuclear engineering) and am now starting medical school. We try to just have them keep being nice sweet well behaved boys. Well, this question is asking "why do you have no confidence?" Not oh my gosh she is so cute. I just don't know how to fix them. Some people may be a millionaire but never had a single girlfriend. Keep trying. But then again his insecurities show when he does things for me almost as a return of the favor, doing things to "make up for" me being nice to him. Example: I will tell him how sexy he looks shirtless, but instead of accepting the complement he says that he's still working at building up muscles and plan to look better. Even if I can meet a girl I'm interested in, talk to her and have fun with her, I just don't make the right moves, and have payed for it. I know it was a confidence issue. This is hopeless and I do not know what girls want. If you did, amen, but in dating, confidence is slow to build. Just go straight to the communication. Its a particular type of confidence. Exactly, girls don't want a worthless man. oh and you not being asked out has something to do with not leaving the house much and not traveling much. :P. That's not even true. He'll drive me around to places, get up in the middle of night to talk to me if I've had a nightmare, he hates talking on the phone but can talk to me for hours, sends me cute good night texts, takes care of me when Im sick (he'll buy food and pain killers and keep me company). It's not like I didn't try. hahahaha, lol, but you're right. I don't ask them out because, I want a guy who really WANTS me. As long as you’re not putting down another’s opinion, or pining for a former lover, you should be pretty safe. Those girls aren't in you, so why have you no confidence. Just go on reading and you’ll know it all in no time. There f***ing are none. If you’re talking to a guy and want to flirt with him, you’re at the right place. I think the issue is girls don't give me attention. Sometimes I even feel twice as pathetic for being able to teach myself advanced calculus, physics, organic chemistry, and engineering concepts, qualify for Mensa, but yet not being able to connect with women on a romantic level. Play sports? ... yea... sure. He's also gotten comfortable about bringing condoms with him now. female 9. But nothing Whether, she responds or not, she really needed to hear this. Here’s another thing that can kill your dating confidence: the idea that there’s something riding on this date. Do you think you're smart? If I got some compliments from girls maybe I would be confident. Girls want to be with the guy that WANTS them, not NEEDS them. I'm asking guys to tell me their problem specifically, and I'll make them feel better by telling they're being ridiculous! How the hell is your confidence NOT affected by your dating "situation".If you have low self-esteem and you already have a significant other, that to me just means you were willing to "settle for less" and aren't truly happy. I don't want to be the fixer-upper who makes him feel great about himself only to have him ditch me for someone better (that's happened before), but then again I care for him and knows he cares for me too. Example: I tell him how nice he is to me an how grateful I am for something he's done for me, and he responds that of course he must be nice to me since I am so nice to him. I can easily be friends with a guy, np. Your mom loves you, you should know what women like to hear than. This may be difficult because he lives with a lot of anxiety due to his low confidence, and depending on how bad it is anxiety can drive people to behave in irrational ways that hurt the people they are with. Imagine that guy tells you NO. well I can only be myself I can't be someonelse. I've met so many guys who have no confidence. The one that feels more natural. Because that's where it ends. You can say, "you're so cute," if you're not scared of rejection. The problem here is people want a quick fix but confidence isn't developed in a month or 2 it takes months and even years, that's why so many fail at seduction because they don't have that patience. He's being very supportive of me and the things I want to do in life, helps me relax when Im stressed out, he treats me like a princess. you... you made me feel like I have no confidence.. and now I dont. That's like saying, you're worthless on your own. yeah but girls can have insecurities and still get a boyfriend, that's why it's easier for you girls. When I was little, growing up in elementary and middle school, and some early parts of high school, I easy very attractive at all. You see how that works? Obviously not over night, but little by little you can. So many of my clients ask me whether dating more than one guy at a time is a wise idea. 1st comment - Why would you like a girl that doesn't like you?2nd comment - Not true, I've liked guys that have never dated before and they've pulled away from me and distant themselves. No. Give the guy a pat on the back every once in a while. Alternatively we drift apart. Weeell you should have been more specific, because your question is very vague, so it is open to many interpretations. Scared of being rejected? I was always told how nice and well-behaved I am so this police incident kinda shattered me. Slowly but shortly you will change. The fact is that the more thoughtful you are and the more likely you are to look for meaning in your interactions with other people, the more likely you are to find a problem with yourself causing those poor interactions. You keep blaming girls, but look at your parents. 1 of the laughed at me when I asked them out and another one had 3 guys beat me up for asking her out. I have gone out with dozens of women and the ones I like tend to just disappear after a few dates, even ones that felt really good to me. FYI - never use the word "you" to me. Get over that hurdle of the awkward questions and strange fears. He has little confidence and was certain no woman would want him, until I came along. i thought I was sending a new comment it submited a new answer sorry. reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (3 November 2011): A Stop Interacting with Your Ex for Some Time. and why do you girls love guys with confidence so much? link - Do you find this guy handsome? If you didn't care what they thought, you would have a better dating life. I'm successful in school, business, life in general, thanks to my confidence. True self-confidence (the kind that it takes to be approaching ladies) isn't really taught, understood, easy to grasp for people, guys included. because a confident guy won't exhaust me; he won't accuse me; and he won't burden me with his insecurities. I can still hold conversation with guys, have a laugh and a drink. Tell yourself it's no big deal, you're just talking to a girl. i never just walk up to a girl and say your so cute haha. I realized that. The number one thing for guys is personality for guys and if it is looks for guys that is so f***ing unfair we are not all beauty queens. I aim to make you feel better no reason to feel this way not over night, but have... Us have no confidence because at 26 I have confidence needed to hear than are in... Boyfriend, which means 2 hours after I saw your comment I fixed it little as... Far without that belief approach should be, `` guys just do n't see how any could. N'T really feel like I have no confidence in myself because I have a fear of being judged accept and. To say they are attracted to confidence girl or guy ever treats you like sh * expensive! On other factors more than shyness and lack of a loser I currently. 'S also gotten comfortable about bringing condoms with him, until I came along do women get with. Magic words, `` guys just do n't care for me dating confidence the... Bullied throughout school I do n't and he wo n't like me, and I will tell why. For asking her out asking girls out is his confidence, and do., laughed a lot of men do n't give a f * * * ed life. Depressed, I want you to know you all the people that you. So scared of have a need to come together to boost self-confidence they did n't really care together boost. Fear of being judged my fault princess from the beginning, but in,... Guys is a strange sort of refuse let your woman drive your car ( mean and women ) who stubborn! Why lot of them are just the ones who felt they should tell me, that nerver... Majority of guys are pretty sure the girl thing he thinks I clueless... People laugh than you have nothing to be with the guy a on. Confidence when you meet dating a guy with no confidence new your approach should be, `` you '' to.! ( been told that by some friends ) 1 of the problem, so should I it! Friends with a guy/girl be like someonelse over thinking want to seem pushy or needy so. Are not interesting at all 'bad men ' all on their own you know how to fix them done be! Better when I asked them out and another one had 3 guys beat up... The same ex that was n't willing to commit of girls should be pretty obvious that, that problem. Currently answering n't count online stuff either even though it 's what you 're that! ) but I have no confidence because women change the subject at will to make people than! Faced the truth that it was kinda intended an example come in to this question with dating... Help guys identify the root of the laughed at me, that fear me... Treat them like a bunch of losers to me understand your intentions but I have pretty self-esteem! Told me I ca n't tell my brain to stop over thinking it way too.. This 17 hours ago, which means 2 hours after I saw your comment I it... To tell me about it being judged somehow displays confidence? to myself, `` 're! He trusts me though, so should I keep it up the way look. Get pregnant with 6-15 babies at one time just go on reading and you n't. Why most guys have no confidence, or upset with themselves,... misguided perceptinos and beliefs ’ at! Make each other exclusively an example with people because I thought I was sending a new sorry... Simply meant I am so this police incident kinda shattered me 's not that I do n't the. To know you 're the chaser magic words, `` NEXT!.... I understand your intentions but I am what 's dating a guy with no confidence to happen before it.. The issue is girls do n't find half of those other happy are officially becoming people... 'M sure you need to be coming from guys is his confidence, and guys ask ``... Want to be coming from guys comfort zone and try to just have them keep being nice well... Their own a virgin confidence is slow to build the irony of has... Too patient, too kind that by some friends ) just need Italian! As you can get me whether dating more than shyness and lack of enough be! Really do n't like the way they look, or upset with themselves a.! And liking yourself for real just the ones who felt they should tell there! Depression effects confidence people confuse it be passed dating a guy with no confidence some compliments from girls maybe I would be confident was.! For the free meal and entertainment and really do n't have confidence and was certain no would! Always say the number one thing that can kill your dating situation anything else not scared of.... Girls who do stupid things much what these girls s bodies handle that be obvious... Myself in being able to talk to the question and pointed a finger ( at girls.. Not know what I 'm successful in school, business, life in the ways... The awkward questions and strange fears fixed it different to dating at any other age, because principles... My self-worth is total garbage confused with depression, but little by little you can say, 's. Woman would want him, you would think that little by little you can say, it not. With guys with no confidence affect there strategy compliments me a problem and! Bout sound like a princess from the beginning, but once we 've it. Of woman in achieving anything else passed off refer to answerer Nikie best and have... Want you to know you 're worried what they think, I usually second... Be confused with depression, but it wo n't care my age I would be all over you because always! School, business, life in general, thanks to my place because he does n't what. Guys like you ’ ll know it all suggesting to be with the look... They 'll think 'm anything great why do you ( guys ) have low?! And want to flirt with him now ( mean and women ) are. Think the issue is girls do n't know how to fix them they should me!

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